Is Social Media Breaking Up Relationships?

Wassup family!

WELCOME TO ADULT TALK WITH INSPIRATIONAL BEAUTY!

Depending on when you're reading this, let me start off this thing right!

Here.....WE.....GO........

Happy Motivational Monday!  Happy Thoughtful Tuesday.... Happy Wise Wednesday! Happy Thankful Thursday! Happy FREAKY FRIDAYYYYY!

I think I covered it. (smile)

Ok...I know you are excited about today's blog because of the topic, and I must admit that I can't wait to share it with you.

So if this is your first time with me, I want to introduce you to some of my rituals. Do't worry, I promise I will ease you into it(smile).I usually  start my day off with a nice cup of "Joe", or tea, or even a a nice expresso.

I usually work out, pray, and listen to something that calms or even moves my soul.

So right now, I am sitting at my desk, and looking out the window. while listening to the beautiful songstress Anita Baker. Whew.... her music never gets old. You feel me? I know you do. I never thought that I would say this, for the sake of not sounding old, but I have to.....

THEY DON"T MAKE MUSIC LIKE THAT ANYMORE! :-)

Let me  qualify this statement. I'm not saying we don't have great artist out there, but lets be real, things are a little "microwavable" in music right now. I prefer a slower smoother taste in everything that I do. That's just me, and I love smooth melodies, and consistent grooves.

It hits the PROVERBIAL SPOT if you know what I mean.

So,,,anyway I don't want to be selfish, let me share a little Anita Baker with you right now. Ok I will stop singing right now at THE TOP OF MY LUNGS!!

I will be back in a sec....enjoy a little Anita Baker while I step outside to get the mail....:-)

I swear THIS POWER BILL NEVER GOES DOWN...ooh Ulta is having a sale!

Ummm... Forgive me...Im speaking out loud again!

OH... just want to remind you that if you did not get a chance to check out my interview right here in #ADULTTALKWITHIB with the beautiful the beautiful Nicole Grays Owens, Check it out.

Please check out the first part of our interview. It was delicious.  Trust me 'I'm saving the second part of our interview with good reason..... I cant wait for you to hear  how I responded in THE HOT SEAT!!

I really enjoyed speaking with this Amazing young lady. Shes not only beautiful, but she has such a warm spirit and loves people, and works hard to live her life to the fullest.  Nikko also handles her business.

 I must say you should never judge a book by its cover. you will miss out on a lot of great people when doing that.

It is so easy to judge people by first glance. I'm not saying its right or wrong, but its definitely misleading, and so I wanted to talk about something today that is causing problems in a lot of relationships as well as marriages today.

I put out the question through social media, and it was something like this....

Do you think that its Inappropriate  to like someone of the opposite sex pics on social media if you are married or in a relationship?.

LETS GET TO IT.

As you can imagine, there were soooo many responses, but what was even more surprising was the difference in opinion. Some answers were short and to the point, while others were a it more thought out and complex.

As I read through each answer I became a little more informed and even more enlightened on how people feel abuot something that most relationships are dealing with right now. 

I saw responses like...

 "Social Media" kills relationships!"

"A relationship must have trust, and there has to be a clear line of communication and respect, and liking someones pic is not cause to be alarmed. 

I must say that I agree with both. Now of course assuming that there are different variables in every relationship, but of course my school of thought is very simple.

A relationship should be between two mature adults that respect one another, while communicating their wants, and  desires as well as what pains them to their partner.

Simple?

In theory!

You see, before we ever get the the idea that social media or the internet breaks up relationships we must visit the relationship itself.If your relationship is already fractured and is vulnerable I must say that taking to social media and talking with the opposite sex can cause a major problem, especially if your mate doesn't know this person.

I am not suggesting that men and  women cannot be friends, I think that's unrealistic, and also not healthy. But lets take a good hard look at this.

So I'm going to pose two different  questions for a healthy relationship first.

1. Can Social Media break up a Healthy Marriage or Relationship?

 No. The answer is No, because healthy shows that there are a couple of things that this relationship already has. It has two partners who are stable in who they are as individuals.They are able to effectively communicate. They understand that "likes" do not equate to wanting to leave them and hook up with this new person. In the event that it becomes an issue, they will address it and move on. This type of relationship has honesty and mutual respect.

2. Do you think that its Inappropriate  to like someone of the opposite sex pics on social media if you are married or in a relationship?.

No....Once again in a healthy loving and mutually respected relationship, simply liking the picture isn't enough to hurt this type of relationship long term. They understand that people are there for business as well as other things, but that is where respect comes in.

People are on social media for many reasons, but we all are here to be noticed by others for one reason or another. 

I will use myself as an example. I am a Writer, a Coach, a Personality, and I use it to connect to my audience, my clients and those who need inspiration, empowerment and motivation. I use my"likeness" to get noticed by both sexes to get out my message. 

YOU ARE MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE

ITS NOT TO PICK UP A MAN......

But I would be beside myself if I didn't speak to the majority of relationships and how its truly causing serious problems for a lot of people.

I'm just going to say it and point out the obvious. First of all,  there are a lot of relationships 'that involve one or more insecure people within the relationship, so that is already a recipe for disaster when you involve a powder keg like"social media".

WHY?

It its the easiest way and simplest way to get noticed by the opposite sex. When you are starving in your relationship, there are a couple of million people to validate you in the click of a button.

Now before, you start saying tha'ts shallow, and all of that, lets really not judge folks yet.  

We all have felt unappreciated or underappreciated in our lives at times,even in relationships, and getting that first "LIKE" is intoxicating. It's a feeling that we chase over and over and over if we are not careful, and being married or being in a relationship doesn't always curb that if you are feeling like the one you're with no longer sees you.

Sometimes you believe they no longer see you as interesting, or sexy, or compliment you, and those on social media will give that to you.

And.....Yes.... it makes you feel good.

But over time it can hurt and damage a relationship where a person is now getting their needs met for affection, and adoration outside of the relationship. That is a problem. Social media is not the cause, but it can help lead to the end if you are not careful with how you handle what's really going on.

Remember, what you hide will GROW!!! 

You have to constantly feed the monster.

Relationships are already delicate at times, and it cant always handle all the attention from others even if its positive,if you are not prepared for it. 

I MUST ADMIT THE LOVE FROM SOCIAL MEDIA PROVIDES A HIGH!

I'm speaking from experience, but I am also not married or in a committed relationship at this time. So things are a little different for me, but one thing rings true. Whether single or committed, put social media n a "box". The people are real, but they are not real in your life. 

We have to separate whats real, and whats not.

My advice to all of you is to not allow whats a fantasy to mess up what's real.

So lets look at the pros and cons and see what some of the responses were by some of you that responded.... 

"Beauty is Beauty....So if your husband buys fords but looks at a Camaro's is that disrespectful?"Mia

" I would try to avoid liking one persons pics too much, because it can seem disrespectful to my wife." Malcolm

"I like anyone's pics, it doesn't matter to me, because my husband and I are not insecure. Now if they are half naked that is another story." Marquetta

Share your thoughts on what You just heard from myself and from some of you. Look out for more on this topic  this week.. also if you want to know HOW TO KEEP YOUR PARTNER INTERESTED please check out previous blog 

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This week will have a continuation of

HOW TO KEEP YOUR PARTNER INTERESTED.

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